Do You Have Time or Does Time Have You? workshop: April 3rd and 10th, 2pm-4pm
After a year of coaching, one of the things that has become crystal clear to me is that many people struggle with this elusive thing we call “time management”. I put together a few thoughts about this in a blog post, and now I’ve developed a workshop for anyone who wants to spice up their relationship with time.
During this two-part workshop, you will:
-explore the perspectives you hold about time
-consider and evaluate your values and priorities and relate these to your time
-get a quick overview of some fun time management tools and systems and a chance to play with them
-set goals and make a plan to put into practice what you’ve learned and befriend your calendar
The details:
Two Saturday afternoons: April 3rd and 10th, from 2pm-4pm
Limited to 10 people
$50 (payable at the first session)
Bloor-Bathurst area (details provided upon registration)
To register:
Email me at laurajoanne@gmail.com.
February: space, stillness, simplicity
February Dreamboard
Yes, I make dreamboards. Yes, I make them on the full moon.
While making my dreamboard for February, I was thinking ahead to my three weeks on the West Coast. I’m taking off to visit my parents and to hide out in their spare room to crank through the final chapters of the EWB book. In my dreamboard, I see the coast in winter – green, grey, smokey blue. I see the space, orderliness, quiet, and stillness I’m longing for – the silence and concentration I need to give this project its final push, and the mental and emotional clarity I’ll need so that three weeks with my parents will be full of love. I see that during this month, my birthday month, I am feeling clear, focused, and that the important elements can be distilled… almost a simplicity to the clarity.
If you think full moon dreamboards might be your thing, check out Jamie Ridler’s online dreamboard circle. After a year of making these collages, I feel that they capture something about where I’m at and what I’m hoping for in ways that words never do.
A Word Tumbling from Your Heart
I spent the weekend as an assistant at the Coaches Training Institute’s Co-Active Fundamentals course. To me, the most precious thing to remember from the three days is how one of the leaders explained acknowledgment.
Acknowledgment is a particular skill we use in co-active coaching. It’s about noticing and articulating the qualities of a person. Not about the person’s performance, not about giving the person feedback, but about witnessing his or her qualities.
I would love to invite you, for the next week, to give one acknowledgment a day to someone in your life.
The leader in the Fundamentals course instructed us in how to acknowledge:
“You say, ‘You are…’ and then you let a word tumble out of your heart.”
It takes three words, and that is all. Acknowledgments are not about the person giving the acknowledgment, so leave yourself out of it. Don’t say “I really appreciated this about you,” or “I liked it when…”, or “I think you are…”, or “You inspire me”.
Just say, “You are…” and then let a word from your heart tumble out of your mouth.
And if you want a little more information on how acknowledgment is different:
Imagine someone has submitted a report with incredible research behind it. Here are different reactions you might give, depending on whether you were attending to his/her performance, aiming to give feedback, or making an acknowledgment.
A performance-related comment might be: “Your research is comprehensive.”
A feedback comment might be: “The extent of your research and the number of sources you consulted makes your report trustworthy and your conclusions reliable.”
Some acknowledgments might be: “You are thorough.” “You are committed to excellence.” “You are dedicated.”
Notice the difference. The acknowledgments notice the quality in the person that allowed them to do what they did. A coach’s job is to notice the qualities in their clients, and to name them – sometimes to see those qualities and point them out even when the client can’t see the qualities within him/herself.
Now, who are you ready to acknowledge? And what would you like to acknowledge in yourself?
Back to Fundamentals
“Your client is naturally creative, resourceful, and whole… and so are you.”
This weekend, I’m going back to the Coaches Training Institute Co-Active Fundamentals course to serve as an assistant. I’m looking back over my notes from when I first took this course, in July 2008. The three days were thrilling – my first taste of co-active coaching and the amazing impact it can have. I fell in love with coaching, and I haven’t looked back.
Rereading my notebook, I find these gems:
Your client is naturally creative, resourceful, and whole… and so are you.
A cornerstone of co-active coaching: the belief that all people are naturally creative, resourceful, and whole. And a coach needs to remember that in order to truly believe that about our clients, we need to believe it about ourselves too.
The evolution of getting better at something is the willingness to stay in the painful place of knowing what you don’t know.
See the (un)conscious (in)competence ladder for details.
Coaching is not about getting the client to have an insight you have about her/him.
Coaching is NOT about getting your client to think what you think! It IS about reflecting, mirroring, and asking questions, so that your client can be clearer on what she/he believes, values, and desires.
Curiosity is the antidote to judgment.
Whenever you feel judgment or opinion coming on, get curious.
As the coach brings more of him/herself to the coaching (e.g. more of his/her humour, warmth, willingness to fail, willingness to risk, boldness, dreams, heart), there is more room for the client to bring more of her/himself too.
I can’t wait for this weekend, and for that heart-racing moment when a roomful of participants sees co-active coaching for the first time. It’s stunningly beautiful.
If you want a little taste of what co-active coaching could be, check out these tools from the Co-Active Coaching Fundamentals course:
A Little Bit in Love with the World
I spent the weekend at a workshop focused on “opening the heart”. Two days meditating on my heart, loving-kindness, and forgiveness; drawing pictures representing my heart space; doing expressive dance to Chopin nocturnes to enact heart feelings; and feeling the warmth of sending and receiving love, silently, with the people around me. This morning, all of that love and heart is still shining on me and through me, making the whole world shimmer in shiny new love.
My hatred of SMART goals, and other 2010 resolutions
A much better way for me to set intentions
Few things make me want to rebel the way SMART goals do. Specificity and Measurability frustrate me. Achievable mocks me: “Can you ACTUALLY do that?” Realistic bores me. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in three decades, it’s that Time operates on its own schedule, not mine.
I’ve discovered that setting intentions does work for me, so I’ve turned my energy there. If I pick a few words or images to guide me, I tend to accomplish far more than I thought I could, and do more than I would have gauged as “achievable”.
The only measurable thing I’m planning on committing to in 2010 is sitting down for 10 minutes everyday with my list of intentions. I’m going to trust that spending 10 minutes everyday with my intentions will shake its way out into actions and goals and accomplishments, in new and surprising ways, in natural ways, even in energizing ways.
I share here the intentions I’ve been sitting down with for the past four days, and which I’ll continue for the year:
I honour my body and my health.
I am confident that I am on track to eliminate debt and generate wealth. I am responsible.
I am open to possibilities, and I am grounded in my own focus.
I am successful and I am making valuable change in people’s lives.
I am open to friendships and I nourish my friendships. I am learning to practice generosity.
I show my family, through my actions and my words, that I love them.
I recognize my habits and patterns and actively experiment with new ways of being.
I stand, speak, and act with confidence.
I laugh everyday.
I make time to create.
I value peace and beauty.
I can love and be loved.
Two Things and a Fiesta
December has been busy, and December has been lazy, and I have not been writing blog posts. Today I have two things to say, plus a poem.
First, this week I’m hosting Two Hours of Perspective, Dec. 30, from 2pm-4pm. Any and all are welcome, just contact me.
Second, I’m putting together a 2010 visioning package for coaching clients (or anyone else interested). The visioning package gives you a chance to focus completely on the big picture instead of the day-to-day. It consists of reflection and planning exercises, plus an hour-long coaching session designed to set you up for the year to come. Drop me a line if you’re interested in taking advantage of this, or watch here for more details.
Finally, I stumbled across this poem in a book from a friend, and I loved it:
The Church says: The body is a sin.
Science says: The body is a machine.
Advertising says: The body is a business.
The body says: I am a fiesta.-Eduardo Galeano
May your 2009 end with a fiesta. Your body’s already partying.
Two Hours of Perspective
It’s the end of the year and the end of the decade!
I, for one, am feeling a serious need for reflection. Between holiday parties, friends and families, and the onslaught of year-in-review lists, where’s the time for us to think about what our last year meant to us and where we are in the bigger story of our lives?
I’m a sucker for this sort of thing, and am hereby inviting anyone interested to come to my house on Wednesday, Dec. 30th, from 2pm-4pm, for a two hour reflection gathering.
I promise to provide thought-provoking questions, good conversation, and quiet time for contemplation and journalling. I’ll arrange the questions and conversation-starters, chart out the flow of the two hours so that you get personal and private reflection, and the chance to reflect with others, and I’ll have some art supplies and wine/eggnog/something on hand. You bring a journal or notebook, or anything else that will help you look back on the year (decade) past and look forward to the year to come.
Send me an email if you want to join the reflection party.
Take two hours of perspective. Hope to see you here.
Advocating for Your Best Self
Last week, I explained to someone my role as a coach:
“I am committed to advocating for your best self,” I said. “I champion the person you want to be, and who you want to become.”
I’m the one who says, “I know you really value family, but your actions aren’t showing that right now. What’s going on?”
The one who says, “When you had that hard conversation with your boss, your commitment to yourself, your learning, and your authenticity all showed through.”
The one who says, “I can see that your to-do list is overflowing. What is truly important to you this week?”
If you were advocating for your best self today, what might you ask yourself? What would you remind yourself of?
The Next Step
Over on the wishcasting page, Jamie asks, “What step do you wish to take?”
For once, my answer’s remarkably clear. Since May, I’ve been toying with the idea of bringing more group work and facilitation into my coaching. In August, I hosted a Party of Possibility to try to figure out what this would look like. And this month, I started the pilot run of the One Change course.
I love the One Change course. I’m watching and facilitating as our cozy group of five takes on changes close to our hearts – everything from business plans and client recruitment to starting art projects, exploring health and fitness, and being present.
My next step: to take the foundation laid down in the pilot course and fly with it!
The One Change course will have its official launch on January 14, just in time for any New Year’s changes you might be thinking through.
And you are all invited to the party.
Drop me a line if you want to be a part of my next step.
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