Ready for Change

I originally put this post up in March 2010, and I found myself thinking of it again this week. I have faithfully continued Reflection Days, every month on the 18th, for nearly two years. My computer-free days took a big hit during a volunteer stint that took up half of 2011, but I’ve invited them back into my life this year (not always on Sunday, but always at least once a week) and I love them now as unabashedly as I did in 2010.

I wonder what sort of weekly or monthly daylong ritual would make a significant difference for you?

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I instituted two types of days at the beginning of 2010, and almost four months into the year (!), I feel convinced of their value.

First, I decided that I would designate a Reflection Day each month.

I chose the 18th, because it’s the day of my birthday. On the 18th of every month, I’ve set aside two to three hours to go sit somewhere peaceful with a notebook and a pen, and take stock of what I like to call The State of the Union.

During Reflection Day, I look over my intentions for 2010, decide if I want to update or change any of my intentions, and think about how they’ve become real in my life. I do a quick survey of all of the areas of my life using the Wheel of Life coaching tool. I think about the projects I’ve taken on, and my balance of work / rest / recreation / joy. I look for themes that are showing up, and for the successes I want to celebrate. And I zone in on a few things that I want to be aware of or change in the month to come.

The impact:

Knowing that I will pause on Reflection Day to think these things through has cleared some of my headspace during the month. I take on projects that feel right, I make decisions that seem like the right ones, and I don’t worry about it too much, because I know that once a month I have a built-in check for myself to determine how I’m doing. I feel reassured that things won’t fall off my plate – because once a month I check in on all areas of my life. I don’t have as many nagging doubts or worries, because I have space to regularly reflect. And my sense of purpose and self is becoming stronger, as every thirty days I recommit to who I am, what’s important to me, and how it is coming alive in my life.

Second, I instituted Computer Free Days.

One day a week, usually Sunday, I leave my computer turned off and avoid the internet. This change has been more subtle, and just as powerful. I’ve found a new rhythm on Sundays – cooking, cleaning, reading, and just being. Sundays feel like a day of soul nourishment. I’m almost loathe to turn my computer back on on Mondays – and this from someone who willingly spends most of her time in front of her laptop. Throughout the rest of the week, I feel less tied to the online world, and less addicted to the quick fix of email, twitter, or facebook. I’m down to checking each of them only one or two times a day (yes, even email!), which has freed up vast chunks of time to work on projects.

The impact:

I find myself more present to what I am working on at any given time. I have fewer adrenaline surges because I no longer see each and every email arrive in my inbox. I’m stunned at the time I am finding to spend multiple hours on particular projects once I have my browser closed. And I start every week with a clean house, a stocked fridge, and a sense of peace.

If you’d like to read more, I recommend:

A Provisional Guide for Observing a Weekly Day of Rest (from Sabbath Manifesto)

The Lost Practice of Resting One Day Each Week (from Zen Habits)

LeechBlock (LeechBlock is an extension you can add to Firefox. You can use it to block certain domains for your chosen times of day(s)). 

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Let me say a few words about two years ago.

On my 30th birthday, my house was full – FULL – of people I loved and who loved me, and I was hiding huddled in my room, feeling like a blight on the planet and like the loneliest person alive.

Breakup-illness-leaving a job-hating graduate school … the details aren’t important, but it did all happen within the space of a year, leaving me a confused, directionless mess who could barely eat or leave the house.

A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to have one of those experiences which stopped me in my tracks and pointed out how different I am now, just two years later. I walked into a coaches training course, just about two years after I had taken my very first coach training, and I noticed how differently I showed up. Two years ago, I walked in terrified and uncertain. I was uncomfortable in groups. Everyone else seemed so much more professional and knowledgeable. I felt like the only person who was lost. I held back and barely spoke. I didn’t know what I would be doing the next week, or next month, or next year.

This time, I walked into the class feeling my confidence, and knowing I love my life. I have found work that I love and in which I flourish. I have built a business. My training in therapist skills has transformed my ability to connect to people individually and in groups, and how to show up with presence in a group. Two years ago I was desperately looking for something to be optimistic about, and this time around I walked in already loving what is.

So, all of this has made it into a blog post for two reasons:

1. It’s important for me to mark the differences, and to note what’s changed, for myself. To remember to celebrate.

2. To prompt you to experiment with thinking: How different might your life be in two years? What if it could be different beyond your wildest dreams? How would you love it to be? And – it’s just two years away. 

Like what you’re reading? There’s more where that came from!
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In the five four three two last days leading up to this Saturday’s workshop, Do You Have Time or Does Time Have You?, I post my final entry in this week’s series about time.

Part Five: Final Words

Do Less

• Every day, choose three things on your to-do list and decide NOT to do them. Ever. Now cross them off.
• Say no.
• Say no.
• Say no again.
• Only do things that are in line with your purpose.

The Hardest Part Is Starting

• Plan and prioritize.
• Set yourself up the night before for success the next day.
• Get started.
• Work for at least five uninterrupted minutes. Then keep going.
• Time yourself. I like Tick Tock Timer (hat tip to Write to Done).

Focus

• Chunk your time.
• Do one thing at a time. Don’t multi-task.
• Do the three most important things first. Do them before you check email / facebook / twitter / phone messages.
• Do a thing until it’s finished.
• Keep a notebook beside you to jot down the distracting things. Go back to them later rather than interrupt what you are working on now.
• Use Leechblock if your internet self-control leaves something to be desired.
• Have a scheduled time to crash through all the little things that get in the way and take up your time.
• Set time limits on how much time you are willing to spend on a project. If writing a document is supposed to take you one hour, then schedule an hour, write it, and then call it done. Good enough.
• Move away from your computer.

Don’t Let Email or Meetings Get in Your Way

• Especially move away from your email.
• Set a personal goal of limiting the length of your emails – save your time, and the time of those who read them (see http://four.sentenc.es/).
• Don’t answer emails that don’t need answers. No emails that say “Thanks.”
• Chunk your email time. Limit your email chunks to a 15/30/45 minute chunks 1/2/3 times a day.
• Suggest alternatives to meetings.
• Be a vocal advocate for meeting efficiency. Speak up, do time checks, and arrive and leave on time, whether or not the meeting ends on time.

The Big Picture

• Do a monthly time audit.
• Make sure you’re creating space in your life for fun. Otherwise, you might try to get your fun fix by fiddling away a whole bunch of time on something work-related that’s unimportant but more fun than what you really need to do.
• Be clear on your purpose, and plan actions that are in line with it.

If you need a system, check out:

• The Entrepreneurial Time System
• Getting Things Done
• Zen to Done
• The Pomodoro Technique

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To register for my April 3rd workshop, Do You Have Time or Does Time Have You?, email me at ReadyForChangeCoaching@gmail.com.

You may also be interested in:

• parts one, two, three, and four in this series
• one of my previous posts about time
• a free 30 minute sample coaching session

Like what you’re reading? There’s more where that came from!
I’d love to have you join me by signing up for Ready for Change news. 

In the five four three two days leading up to this Saturday’s workshop, Do You Have Time or Does Time Have You?, I’ll be posting daily about the ideas that work best for me when it comes to time.

Part Four: Truth in Data

This week, I’ve blogged about the mental switch from “managing time” to “managing actions”. I’ve said that my best tool for managing actions is my action management sword: clarity of purpose. I’ve referenced the Big Rocks concept to show that putting my big chunks of purpose work first gives me a structure to get more done, and to get more done in line with my purpose.

You might feel that you’re well on the way to moving your actions into line with your purpose. You might feel that you have a long way to go. You might have no idea. I invite you to start with getting curious. Honestly and non-judgmentally curious.

For one day, track what you do and what goal(s) you are pursuing by doing it. One whole day, from when you wake up to when you go to bed. Set up three columns: the time, in half hour increments; the activity; and the goal you are pursuing with that activity.

Remember, you are doing this out of curiosity. What actions are you undertaking today? What do your actions say about the goals that are important to you? What did you learn by recording your sample day? Are you acting in line with your purpose?

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To register for my April 3rd workshop, Do You Have Time or Does Time Have You?, email me at ReadyForChangeCoaching@gmail.com.

You may also be interested in:

• parts one, two, and three in this series
• one of my previous posts about time
• a free 30 minute sample coaching session

Like what you’re reading? There’s more where that came from!
I’d love to have you join me by signing up for Ready for Change news. 

In the five four three days leading up to this Saturday’s workshop, Do You Have Time or Does Time Have You?, I’ll be posting daily about the ideas that work best for me when it comes to time.

Part Three: Purposeful Big Rocks

Multiple productivity and time management systems tell me to do the important things first. To really get this into my head, though, I needed the explanation from Zen Habits about Big Rocks.

The Big Rocks are the most important things. The things that are in line with my purpose and the things that stand the best chance of propelling me towards my goals. They are the things that are often easy to put off or hard to start. They are the things that take up a chunk of time that’s hard to find if I am constantly checking emails, paying bills, updating websites, or running to meetings.

Zen Habits explains that if I put all those little “pebble” tasks first, my week will have no room for the Big Rocks. But if I put the Big Rocks into my schedule first, then all the little pebble-y things will just fill in and find space around them.

Getting Things Done comes at the concept in a different, but also useful, way. The GTD system uses “time available” as its second criteria for choosing an action in any given moment. I used to look at my schedule and see two free hours before my next scheduled appointment, and think, “How many items from my to-do list can I cross off in two hours?” I aimed for quantity, because I am easily reinforced by looking at a list with twenty things crossed off.

Now, I look at two available hours and I go find the thing on my to-do list that is going to take two hours, and I do that. And somehow, all those other little tasks have a way of finding themselves tiny time slots where they can get done. My quantity of production hasn’t gone down. But the amount of Big Rocks that I’m getting done has substantially increased. And that means that I am working more and more on the projects that are most in line with my purpose, which is to help people grow and change.

As one of my yoga teachers used to say, “If you make time for yoga, yoga makes time for everything else.”

I find that if I make time for my purpose, my purpose makes time for everything else.

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To register for my April 3rd workshop, Do You Have Time or Does Time Have You?, email me at ReadyForChangeCoaching@gmail.com.

You may also be interested in:

• parts one and two in this series: I Can’t Manage Time and The Action Management Sword
• Zen Habits posts about Big Rocks and Most Important Tasks
• one of my previous posts about time
• a free 30 minute sample coaching session

Like what you’re reading? There’s more where that came from!
I’d love to have you join me by signing up for Ready for Change news. 

In the five four days leading up to this Saturday’s workshop, Do You Have Time or Does Time Have You?, I’ll be posting daily about the ideas that work best for me when it comes to time.

Part Two: The Action Management Sword

I can pick from numerous criteria to manage my actions. To name just a few:

• context (does completing this action require my computer / being somewhere where I can make phone calls / coordinating with another person?)
• time available (how long do I have, and how long will it take to complete this action?)
• priority (how high on my priority list is this action?)
• sheer whimsy (what do I feel like doing?)

I’ve found all of those criteria useful in one way or another, but none of them compare to what I call the Action Management Sword. My Action Management Sword slashes through the unnecessary and tips its point straight to the heart of the matter. It’s the line at the top of my weekly plan that reads:

Which actions are most in line with my purpose?

Zen to Done describes this as “only hav[ing] those commitments in your life that really give you joy and value”. Getting Things Done prompts the GTD user to process his/her inbox with a view to his/her purpose. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey claims that effective people spend most of their time in his Quadrant II: working on tasks that are important and non-urgent, i.e. tasks that arise from one’s purpose (I found a nice explanation of Quadrant II here).

All of these books emphasize that in order to manage my actions, I need to understand what I’m here for. Through my insatiable addiction to personal growth books and exercises and coaching, I’m clear on my purpose. At its simplest, it is:

I help people grow and change.

For an action to deserve my time and attention, it must either help people grow and change, or help me help people grow and change.

What purpose determines your choice of actions?

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To register for my April 3rd workshop, Do You Have Time or Does Time Have You?, email me at ReadyForChangeCoaching@gmail.com.

You may also be interested in:

• exercises to discover purpose:
  • I love those found in The Courage to Lead: Transform Self, Transform Society
  • I’m also a fan of the exercises I’ve experienced – and which I now use with my coaching clients – from the Coaches Training Institute
• part one in this series: I Can’t Manage Time
• one of my previous posts about time
• a free 30 minute sample coaching session

Like what you’re reading? There’s more where that came from!
I’d love to have you join me by signing up for Ready for Change news. 

In the five days leading up to this Saturday’s workshop, Do You Have Time or Does Time Have You?, I’ll be posting daily about the ideas that work best for me when it comes to time.

Part One: I Can’t Manage Time

Whenever I work with a coaching client who uses the words “time management”, I get curious.

What would it mean to “manage” time? Time doesn’t perform better when I give it positive feedback. I can’t give time a bad performance review and then fire it. I can’t send time to human resources training.

David Allen sums this up succinctly in Getting Things Done. You can’t manage your time, he says. You CAN manage your actions.

That’s a simple and powerful switch in perspective. As long as I am trying to manage time – an intangible phenomenon that can’t be managed – I’ll feel frustrated at my losing battle. But if I switch my focus to managing my actions, suddenly I am back in control.

Next time you hear your mental chatter telling you to “manage your time better”, stop and ask yourself: Which of my actions do I need to manage better? And what would it mean to better manage my actions?

In my post tomorrow, I’ll dip into some of the action management skills that I’ve found most helpful.

To register for my April 3rd workshop, Do You Have Time or Does Time Have You?, email me at ReadyForChangeCoaching@gmail.com.

You may also be interested in:

• one of my previous posts about time
• a free 30 minute sample coaching session

Like what you’re reading? There’s more where that came from!
I’d love to have you join me by signing up for Ready for Change news. 

At one point or another, every single person I’ve coached has talked about prioritizing and managing their time. Time – what an invention. Someone built a machine that ticks away regularly, and suddenly we are all held captive by how many ticks it gives us in a day. (Neil Postman’s Technopoly provides a fascinating description of how the invention of the mechanical clock changed society - “the transformation of the mechanical clock in the fourteenth century from an instrument of religious observance to an instrument of commercial enterprise” (p. 27) – the whole book is worth reading!)

If you feel like time is running you, here are some experiments you could try:

Imagine your ideal day. If time was yours to spend, what would be the flow of your ideal day? How would it start? How would it end? What would be most important to you? And once you’ve imagined that… ask yourself, how much of it is available to you right now?

Imagine a magic wand. If you had a magic wand that gave you enough time for everything, what would there be time for? And once you’ve thought that through, what have you learned about your true priorities?

Trade your to-do list for a priorities list. For example, if your priorities right now are “health” and “family”, you don’t need to rely on a list of things to do in both categories. Wake up each morning and ask yourself, “What am I going to do for my health today? What am I going to do for my family?” It can be that simple.

Know what your values are. Anytime something tries to worm its way onto your to-do list, run it through your values filter first. Does it honour your values enough to be allowed onto your list?

Say no more often. As Peter Block writes, “If we cannot say no, then our yes means nothing” (The Answer to How is Yes, pg. 28). Set yourself a goal. How many things are you going to give a true “no” to this week? How many things deserve your true “yes”?

Go a week without your to-do list. Experiment. What do you discover?

Go a week without a watch, or any other time device. Notice: if you aren’t using a watch, what are the signals that tell you what needs your attention in a given moment?

And for many, many more ideas, and some of the posts that are inspiring my current approach to time, check out these links:

How to Live Without the Clock

Three Ways to Get More Done with the Power of Less

Being Lightweight: Business Design (and related posts)

Getting Real (technically about building software, but useful in many areas of life, or for anyone running a business)

How to Stop Digital Fiddling and Start Writing (or start anything else) 

Like what you’re reading? There’s more where that came from!
I’d love to have you join me by signing up for Ready for Change news.