A Few Reasons Coaching Rocks My World
6 Apr
In my very first conversation with my coach, I was talking through a career change. I was training as a coach, facilitator, and psychotherapist, and I was feeling career-burned after discovering I didn’t want to be a speech-language pathologist and subsequently quitting grad school. I remember distinctly that as I talked through all of this with my coach, in no way did she try to convince me of what I “should” do.
Instead, she asked questions about what drew me to the different areas, and what excited me as I considered each of them. She asked me questions about my purpose, and about what got me interested and intrigued. As I answered the questions, I started hearing my own answers. I didn’t need advice, and I didn’t need to make a pros and cons list, and I didn’t need a career assessment test— I needed to be asked genuine, curious questions. As I answered them, I realized for myself what I wanted and why. My coach was modeling co-active coaching skills: being curious, asking powerful questions, and self-managing (i.e. not assuming that because coaching was a good career fit for her that it would be a good career fit for me).
I left that coaching session with homework to explore: “What would thrill me?” My homework assignment surprised me. What did this question have to do with my career? I thought. Looking back, it strikes me that my coach recognized that this conversation wasn’t just about my career – she had my “Bigger Agenda” in mind. She had sensed in my conversation that I wasn’t living a fulfilling, thrilling life, and she was holding out to me the possibility that I could. My career might become one part of that, but first I would need to dream about and glimpse the totality of what my fulfilling and thrilling life could be.
That conversation was 16 months ago, and I remember it clearly because it’s been a powerful influence in how I’ve lived my life ever since. I’ve now worked with my coach for almost a year and half, and I regularly have conversations with her that are just as powerful. Our coaching sessions keep expanding my sense of what my life can be. As my sense expands, I become more willing, able, and eager to take action to bring that vision alive. I say confidently now that I am leading a far more fulfilling and thrilling life than I was two years ago.
That’s just a little bit of what coaching has done for me. If you’re interested in seeing what coaching might do for you, many coaches offer free sample sessions so that you can see if their style is a good fit for you. I’m offering a day of free sample coaching sessions this week, on Thursday, April 8. I’d love to hear from you if you would like to try out a coaching session with me.
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Thanks for this post Laura! My comments aren’t to you so much as to anybody who’s reading this and considering working with you as a coach.
A couple months ago I had a similar experience with you as I tried to make decisions for my next steps in life. My end date for working with EWB in Ghana was coming to a close (3 years, and it was a self-inflicted date so open to more time in Ghana if I chose). However, I had decided I wanted and likely needed a change. A change mostly of what I was going to value in life over the next few years. I was blessed with several prominent options. I had made extensive pro/con lists. I had been bothered by other’s voices in my head advising me.
Then I spent 1 hour with you, Laura, at your house. You helped me explore these options, in a curious and kinesthetic way. As we physically looked at the options through different perspectives, I started to feel a lot better. And a lot more excited about what the future could hold for me.
I remember leaving the house feeling like a weight had lifted off my shoulders. I realized it wasn’t about the pro-con list, or about what other’s wanted. It should ultimately be about what I value. It took Laura listening to me, asking me great questions, giving me great assignments, and definitely not bringing her own perspective in, to achieve this.
Proof: I’ve decided to study in Vancouver this year. While I know that Vancouver is one of Laura’s least liked cities.
Thanks Laura! And to the rest, I hope you take the opportunity on April 8th to see for yourself what coaching from a great coach can accomplish!