Ready for Change

I spent the weekend as an assistant at the Coaches Training Institute’s Co-Active Fundamentals course. To me, the most precious thing to remember from the three days is how one of the leaders explained acknowledgment.

Acknowledgment is a particular skill we use in co-active coaching. It’s about noticing and articulating the qualities of a person. Not about the person’s performance, not about giving the person feedback, but about witnessing his or her qualities.

I would love to invite you, for the next week, to give one acknowledgment a day to someone in your life.

The leader in the Fundamentals course instructed us in how to acknowledge:

“You say, ‘You are…’ and then you let a word tumble out of your heart.”

It takes three words, and that is all. Acknowledgments are not about the person giving the acknowledgment, so leave yourself out of it. Don’t say “I really appreciated this about you,” or “I liked it when…”, or “I think you are…”, or “You inspire me”.

Just say, “You are…” and then let a word from your heart tumble out of your mouth.

And if you want a little more information on how acknowledgment is different:

Imagine someone has submitted a report with incredible research behind it. Here are different reactions you might give, depending on whether you were attending to his/her performance, aiming to give feedback, or making an acknowledgment.

A performance-related comment might be: “Your research is comprehensive.”

A feedback comment might be: “The extent of your research and the number of sources you consulted makes your report trustworthy and your conclusions reliable.”

Some acknowledgments might be: “You are thorough.” “You are committed to excellence.” “You are dedicated.”

Notice the difference. The acknowledgments notice the quality in the person that allowed them to do what they did. A coach’s job is to notice the qualities in their clients, and to name them – sometimes to see those qualities and point them out even when the client can’t see the qualities within him/herself.

Now, who are you ready to acknowledge? And what would you like to acknowledge in yourself?